Gareth the night of revelations

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Before we begin, please set your Mordred's appearance. Eyes: <<cycle "$eye">> <<option "green eyes" "green">> <<option "blue eyes" "blue">> <<option "gray eyes" "gray">> <<option "brown eyes" "brown">> <<option "hazel eyes" "hazel">> <<option "violet eyes" "violet">> <<option "black eyes" "black">> <<option "amber eyes" "amber">> <</cycle>> Hair color: <<cycle "$hair">> <<option "dark brown, deep and rich and almost black." "dark brown">> <<option "chestnut brown, dark and lush." "chestnut brown">> <<option "light brown like honey." "light brown">> <<option "lush, dark blond." "dark blonde">> <<option "icy blond, cool and lush." "icy blonde">> <<option "golden blond, warm and lush." "golden blonde">> <<option "auburn, deep red." "auburn">> <<option "copper red, fiery." "copper red">> <<option "pure black like the midnight sky." "black">> <</cycle>> Hair type: <<cycle "$hair_type">> <<option "straight" "straight">> <<option "wavy" "wavy">> <<option "curly" "curly">> <<option "coily with corkscrew coils" "coilycurls">> <<option "coily and cloudlike" "coily">> <</cycle>> Complexion: <<cycle "$complexion">> <<option "ivory" "ivory">> <<option "warm beige" "warm beige">> <<option "cool beige" "cool beige">> <<option "rosy" "rosy">> <<option "tawny" "tawny">> <<option "olive" "olive">> <<option "light brown" "light brown">> <<option "sepia brown" "sepia brown">> <<option "golden brown" "golden brown">> <<option "russet brown" "russet brown">> <<option "dark brown" "dark brown">> <<option "warm black" "warm black">> <<option "cool black" "cool black">> <<option "deep black" "deep black">> <</cycle>> Mordred's pronouns: <<cycle "$gender">> <<option "he/him" "he">> <<option "she/her" "she">> <<option "they/them" "they">> <</cycle>> [[Next|SetMordred]]

<div class="titlelettersone" style='font-size: 100%;'>Llamagirl</div>

<<set $eye = "unknown">> <<set $hair = "unknown">> <<set $gender = "unknown">> <<set $magic = 50>> <<set $swordsmanship = 0>> <<set $persuasion = 50>> <<set $intimidation = 50>> <<set $deceit = 50>> <<set $independent = 50>> <<set $pendragon_magic = "1">> <<set $water_magic = 50>> <<set $honest = 50>> <<set $confident = 50>> <<set $impulsive = 50>> <<set $calm = 50>> <<set $kind = 50>> <<set $defiant = 50>> <<set $emotional = 50>> <<set $affable = 50>> <<set $complexion = "none">> <<set $age = "a few days old">> <<set $controlled_magic = 50>> <<set $hair_type = "no">> <<set $Gareth = 0>> <<set $arthur_invited to false>> <<set $chapt4_prophecy_gareth = "">> <<set $prophecy = "">> <<set $chapt4_morning_feel = 0>>

<<link "Stats" "stats">><</link>> <<link "Credits">> <<script>> Dialog.setup("Credits"); Dialog.wiki(Story.get("credits").processText()); Dialog.open(); <</script>> <</link>>

Name: Known as Mordred Leudonus of Lothia - but more often than not called Mordred Le Fay Age: You are 10 years old. //A description of your likeness// You have $eye eyes, much like your parents, $hair $hair_type hair alike your mother's, Morgana and $complexion complexion like your father's, Arthur. <<link "« Return to game" $return>><</link>>

<a href="https://nyehilism.itch.io/twine-template/">Twine Sugarcube Template</a> <a href="https://www.motoslave.net/sugarcube/2/docs/">Sugarcube 2 Documentation</a> <a href="https://github.com/ChapelR/custom-macros-for-sugarcube-2">Chapel - custom macros collection</a> <a href="https://github.com/cyrusfirheir/cycy-wrote-custom-macros">Cycy's custom macros</a> <a href="https://unsplash.com/">Unsplash</a> for sidebar images (<a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/P8LZaU52NME">light mode</a> and <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/pDKoVuXYKxU">dark mode</a>)

<div class="titlelettersone" style='font-size: 150%;'>The Bastard of Camelot</div>

<<silently>> <<if $gender == "he">> <<set $pgen to 0, $child to "boy">> <<elseif $gender == "she">> <<set $pgen to 1, $child to "girl">> <<else>> <<set $pgen to 2, $child to "child">> <</if>> <</silently>> A few questions before we begin! How did Mordred react to finding out about the prophecy in chapter 3? <div class="choice">[[They thought they were supposed to rule, not destroy Camelot.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "rule"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Undoing could mean something good! It could be a good change.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "good"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[The prophecy is stupid.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "stupid"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Was this Morgana's plan all along? You don't want to destroy Camelot.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "plan"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They'll set Camelot on fire.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "ruin"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Is this why Arthur hates them? Why he kept his distance?|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "hate"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They don't want to be the ruin of anything. Maybe the prophecy is wrong.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "wrong"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They'll prove the prophecy wrong.|NextQuestion3][$prophecy to "calm"]]</div>

Gareth was too tired to do anything but take a bath and surrender to the soft, cozy call of the bed. Usually, he'd sneak reading a few chapters of whatever book he was currently on, just before sleep - but the excitement of the party had worn him down completely. He dreamed, too, though he'd be hard pressed to remember what vivid yet pleasantly nonsensical images his mind had conjured before they turned into a nightmare with a frightening boom. The boom wasn't made up by him, though. The more it persisted, the more desperate it got. Its unrelenting blasting slowly forced all his senses into rousing. Drowsiness tried to resist it as best it could, but as his foggy, tangled thoughts gained a sliver of clarity, he realized the racket came from his own door, and sounded like something that needed urgent tending to. Gareth slipped out of bed and navigated through the darkness with little issue - he knew his chamber well and, familiarity aside, it was spacious enough that one would need to go out of their way to stub their toe. The light that flooded in from the hall - dim and feeble as it was - assaulted his eyes, that had barely had time to adjust to the darkness, and heavily protested against been kept open. "Mordred?" He peered out blurrily, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. The sight that welcomed him was enough to rouse him. "Did something happen?" he asked, a terrible thrill of dread injected directly into his veins, blazing hot as it worked to wake him up. "Come in!" Mordred looked beyond rattled. ?They'd been so incandescent with joy when they parted earlier that evening - or was that not that early? Gareth could hardly tell the time. Whatever could have happened to uppend that merry state, had to have been awful. Mordred didn't reply. ?They held out one arm, summoned a flame in the palm of ?their hand and guided them across the parlor into the bedroom. The darkness around them felt oppresing, weighing down on Gareth as he silently fretted. They settled on the bed; Mordred lit up the candelabra on the bedside table, casting into painful clarity ?their disconcerted expression. "What happened?" Gareth asked again, unable to contain his concern. <div class="choice">[[Mordred told him the whole truth. Told him about everything. That Arthur was their father and what Morgana had done. They hesitated about the prophecy, though.|GarethWholeTruth][$gareth_knows to true]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Mordred told him a half-truth. That Lot came and told them some horrible things as a 'birthday present'.|HalfTruth]]</div>

Mordred glanced at him uneasily, taking a long, agonizing while to speak up as quiet deepened between them. ?They said: "There's...a lot to say. For you to understand what's bothering me so, I have another confession to make first." Mordred grimaced, face twisting in conflict. "Gareth," ?they said, and something in ?their voice made Gareth shift slightly atop the sheets, skin prickling with strange, dreadful anticipation. He leant forward and waited patiently for ?them to go on, all drowsiness washed away from him now. "Accolon is not my father." Gareth stared, nonplussed. Ever since he could remember, he'd heard people gossip about Mordred, the child Morgana had out of wedlock - with who else but Accolon, the knight trusted to protect her, her good friend. She'd never denied it - in fact, she'd embraced it. There was a veneer of secrecy in the first years of her return at Court, but the pretense gradually fell away. Mordred's true paternity was never questioned in that sense. Gareth could not have been prepared for the truth. "Arthur is." To say he was shocked was an understatement. His mind exploded with a thousand wild thoughts, all vying for attention, neither coming through very clearly. The fact it was so late at night did not help. "Arthur? But...How...Why...?" He stumbled over his words - tripped over his thoughts - trying to grasp onto something. "But then..." He looked up at Mordred, taking in ?their face as if for the first time. Seeing it now in a new light. Tracing the lines and curves of ?their features, limned so dramatically by the dim, golden light. Those ?eye eyes...He'd always linkened them to Morgana; a perfect simulacrum of hers. But they weren't the only ones to share them, were they? He'd seen Arthur. He'd seen his eyes, met his gaze, been struck by how much it resembled his mother's. "There...there definitely is a resemblance," he murmured pensively, finding all the little details that coinceded so well between both parents, then the ones he could attribute to Morgana - and the features that solely came from Arthur. He'd seen them before, of course, but had no reason to think they'd come from him. "I always attributed it to all three of you - Morgana, Arthur and you - merely taking so much after Igraine, but..." Gareth cut himself off as a realization dawned on him. "Mordred. Mordred, this makes you a dragonblood." Mordred said nothing. Instead ?they held out ?their hand - it trembled ever so slightly. A moment passed in silence. Then a wave of ruby red scales burst out of ?their forearm. Gareth let out a strangled yelp. He clasped a hand over his mouth to muffle it, lest the guards burst in. He stared down at the arm, dumbfounded. Then slowly, as shock was replaced by curiosity, he drew closer to it, watching as the light rippled off the glistening scales. They were a beautiful vibrant red as he'd seen on Arthur before. "You can touch it," Mordred said, holding out the arm closer to him. He reached out hesitantly, touching the scales with just the pads of his fingers, as if they might break if he applied more pressure, or vanish under his eyes. But they were solid and sturdy and smooth, as a dragon's. He pressed harder, testing the feeling of them, and how it compared to his soft, fleshy hand. "Just like a dragon. They're beautiful," he said wonderingly, and released Mordred's arm. This opened up so many questions, so many possibilities! "So those rumours are true about a child being stashed away? You're Arthur's hidden heir?" "No," Mordred said, drawing back ?their hand. The scales that had bloomed over ?their forearm disappeared, leaving behind unassuming skin. "I'm his hidden bastard." Gareth's brow furrowed. For a moment, he'd forgotten - foolishly, stupidly - one very important detail; failed to connect it, as it now slowly did. "Mother...she //is// your mother, too, isn't she?" Mordred nooded. "But then...then..." Realization hit him squarely in the chest. "But that means..." He couldn't even get out the words. Neither could Mordred. "Yes," ?they said, discomfitted. "I know." He reached out and took both of Mordred's hands into his. He was flooded by a confusing, overwhelming mix of emotions - but right now sympathy was at the forefront. Gareth asked: "//How//?" [[Next|GarethWholeTruthNext]]

Mordred glanced at him uneasily, taking a long, agonizing while to speak up as quiet deepened between them. ?They said, "Lot came to my room," - a stab of pain speared through Gareth - "and told me some terrible things. You know, the usual." He knew all too well, unfortunarely. He knew his father capable of cruelty, all aimed at Morgana and Mordred. Hurtful words Gareth had heard spoken, too, that were so hard to hear for him - he couldn't fathom how it was for them. Sometimes, it was so difficult looking into his father's face - meeting his gaze, knowing all those horrible thoughts that hid behind that weary, resentful gaze. Lot had always tried to be kind to him. Mild and warm and caring, as much as he could be. Once, Gareth had badly craved that from him. Lately, he couldn't bear his presence. "I can't believe it!" Gareth huffed and shook his head furiously. "On your birthday? I'm so sorry, Mordred." He grasped ?their fingers and squeezed affectionately - a small gesture that couldn't erase the pain, but hopefully knowing ?they had him would ease it. "I'm used to it." "That just makes it worse." Gareth glanced away and ran a palm over his face. His blood simmered with anger, coalescing with fatigue - coming crashing down on him - to render his skin feverishly, uncomfortably hot. "And you looked really shaken this time." He looked back at Mordred, surveing the tired lines of ?their face, the sadness written into every feature. "Whatever he said about you - or anyone else - you know it's just his bitterness talking, yes?" Mordred nodded, and Gareth decided it was best they both went to sleep. He wasn't sure if Mordred could fall asleep that quickly, in the state ?they <<verb 'was'>>; he took to recounting the latest stories he'd read, speaking in a low, gentle voice as Morgana did to him when he was little. When he exhausted the tales of fiction, he turned to gossip - which may or may have not been fabrication, as well - and spoke until Mordred's eyes struggled to stay open. [[Next morning|NextMorningHalfTruth]]

The next morning, Mordred stayed for breakfast in Gareth's quarters. The atmosphere was subdued, rendered so by the awful way in which the previous day had ended. Mordred ate little - Gareth had to gently coax ?them into taking more than a couple bites of bread, and finishing an entire cup of tea - and spoke even less. Gareth was left worried even as ?they tried to reassure him ?they <<verb 'was'>> fine. How could ?they be fine, when the smile ?they summoned could barely be called a smile - when ?their eyes looked so tired and sad. Whatever Lot had said, it had truly wounded ?them. [[The End]]

Hope you enjoyed it!

It was terrible. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_angry">> Mordred recounted the dreadful details with difficulty. ?Their voice would break in pain, or pitch in anger. ?They'd talk heatedly, frenzied, and often pause to close ?their eyes and take deep, steadying breaths - which did not steady ?them for too long. ?Their frame quivered with tension, ?their fingers, grasped tightly in Gareth's, were hot and feverish. <<elseif $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_upset">> Mordred recounted the dreadful details with difficulty. ?Their voice would break in pain, or turn into whimpers halfway through a sentence. ?They'd talk thickly, stopping often to take deep breaths and hold back tears. ?Their frame quivered with tension, ?their fingers, grasped tightly in Gareth's, were hot and feverish. <<else>> Despite everything, Mordred kept collected, as much as ?they could, stopping every now and then to draw a deep breath or let out a wearied sigh that sent pangs of pain through Gareth's chest. <</if>> Gareth understood Mordred. He felt as if he was slowly unraveling, too, as he listened more and more. He tried his best to comfort ?them as a tumult of conflicting emotions swept him off his feet. Once Mordred was done recounting the terrible deeds - concluding with a long suspire that shook ?their entire frame - Gareth found himself at a loss for words. He ran a hand over his face, worrying the troubled creases between his brow, rubbing furiously at his eyes as his mind whirled. The other hand gripped Mordred's in consolation that they both needed so dearly at that moment. "What has mother done?" Gareth called out to the darkness of the chamber. He knew how much their mother had suffered, and it had always pained him. The older he grew, the more he understood and the more he hated it. He knew why that anger burned in her so brightly, and so destructive - but he never could have guessed the extent of it. He always thought she'd direct that flame towards those that had hurt her - but what was Arthur's fault in any of this, besides being the one thrust on the throne? "It's no wonder why Arthur acts like //that// around her," Gareth said as all the pieces finally fell into place. The way he'd observed the two of them act around each other, talk about each other. The distance Arthur had kept from them all - how much he must have hurt. It all made so much sense now. Silence fell over them, heavy and sullen. <div class="choice">[[Mordred decided to tell Gareth about the prophecy too.|GarethProphecy][$gareth_knows_prophecy to true]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Mordred decided not to mention the prophecy. No need to worry him about it.|GarethAll][$chapt4_prophecy_gareth to "no"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Mordred decided not to mention the prophecy. No need to worry him about it. Besides, they'd hate for him to regard them differently for it.|GarethAll][$chapt4_prophecy_gareth to "different"]]</div>

Mordred broke the silence first. "There's one more thing you should know about." //More?// How could there possibly be more? Gareth braced himself for whatever else was to come and nodded warily. <<if $prophecy == "rule">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy," Mordred said. "It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." Mordred shrugged, looking really unsure what to believe ?themself. <<elseif $prophecy == "good">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy," Mordred said. "It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." Mordred shrugged, looking really unsure what to believe ?themself. "I'm still hoping Merlin sees it as ruin because it involves me - but maybe it's a good thing, actually?" <<elseif $prophecy == "stupid">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but it's really stupid if you were to ask me. Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words." <<elseif $prophecy == "plan">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." <<elseif $prophecy == "ruin">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." <<elseif $prophecy == "hate">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." Mordred shrugged, looking unsure what to think ?themself. "I think it's also played a part in Arthur staying away from me." <<elseif $prophecy == "wrong">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." Mordred shrugged, looking unsure what to think ?themself. <<elseif $prophecy == "calm">> "The night I was born Merlin made a prophecy. It foretold that I'd be the undoing of Camelot." It was the first time he'd ever heard of a prophecy involving Mordred. "What?" "I know it sounds dismal, but Merlin doesn't seem to like me or mother an awful lot, and she seems reluctant to put much stock in his words. So I don't know." <</if>> A prophecy. One that must be known only within a very limited circle, if Gareth had not heard of it so far - if it were to be public knowledge, it would have long made the rounds of the castle. It may have actually permanently casted Morgana and Mordred out of the Continent. Mordred was right; it did sound dismal. How else might one categorize words of doom and gloom? Ominous as they were, though, they were terribly vague too. Gareth may not have been a sorcerer, but he was fascinated by how magic worked. He'd studied the more theoretical side of it, and read up on many branches including divination. Out of all magic, this was the most arcane and elusive - besides the mechanisms of magic itself - and uncertain. Sure, for someone like Merlin, with an affinity for it, there was an advantage and higher accurancy; he had a fantastic record with being right in these matters. Gareth refused to believe it was the case this time, at least in the way the wording would have you believe. Who was to say, besides the man himself, what he actually saw to lead him to believe - or at least, claim - that Mordred was to be the //undoing// of Camelot? What does that even mean, //undoing//? Did he see ruin? Towns aflame? Mordred on the throne? There were far more questions than answers given by the prophecy. All they could do with such little information was guesswork. It was, in his view, not so terrible once you broke it down. Though, if people kept treating Mordred the way they did, Gareth would not have been surprised to learn the future was one of destruction, as much as he hated it. "There's...not a lot known about how prophecies precisely work, since they're said to be able to come in all sorts of shapes," he said slowly, calmly. Morgana may had already reassured ?them of the fact, but he felt the need to reiterate it regardless. "And there's no other sorcerers with Merlin's affinity. We can't check if what he said is true, though if he was rattled enough to burst into mother's room," he scoffed, trying to picture that particular scene - mother, laying in bed with tiny Mordred while the supposed dignified sorcerer dashes inside to proclaim the baby evil. "Something must have bothered him." Something - but what? He shook his head, wishing nothing else but to take a dive into Merlin's thoughts, see what he saw. "Though he definitely has a history of fucking over Le Fay, too." Mordred let out a strangled laugh. "Gareth!" It was good to hear it, however subdued and choked a sound. "What?" he asked, smiling crookedly. "Such unseemly vocabulary," Mordred playfully rebuked. For a small moment, everything felt //almost// right, as if nothing was amiss and they were simply spending a late night talking and gossiping instead of going to sleep. Gareth nudged Mordred with his knee in return. "Shush. But like I said, like you said," he grew more confident the more he spoke, "Merlin does seem to have been involved in a lot of bad things that happened to our family. And //undoing//, evocative as it may be is also very dramatic. What does it mean? Literally burning down buildings? Or letting the economy sink?" There were so many possibilities, and perhaps Merlin had intentionally chosen not to disclose what it was. Perhaps he wasn't sure of it himself. "There's many possibilities. You may not even have the whole picture. I've read once-" "That prophecies can come in pieces?" Mordred cut in. "Yeah, I've read up on them, too." Of course ?they did. "So all the more reason to be wary," Gareth concluded with a smile. Mordred replied with a smile of ?their own. ?They looked calmer now that ?they'd shared all that troubled ?them, but fatigue was starting to make itself plainly clear, too. "You must be exhausted." Mordred did not protest, responding with a sigh. ?They glanced down at ?themself, as if only now realizing ?they <<verb 'was'>> still garbed in ?their party outfit - and deigned ?they didn't care, slipping under the covers as soon as Gareth pulled them up. Gareth was happy to have Mordred by his side. He'd have hated for ?them to return to ?their chamber to sleep alone in this state and, perhaps selfishly, he dearly needed ?them now, too. The reveal of ?their conception spiralled through Gareth's head again and again as he laid it down on the pillow. He didn't want to worry Mordred when there was so much burdening ?them, already, but the revelations of tonight had left him confused and hurting, too. [[Next morning|GarethAllMorning]]

The silence dragged on. "You must be exhausted," Gareth finally said. Mordred looked calmer now that ?they'd shared all that troubled ?them, but fatigue was starting to make itself plainly clear, too. Mordred did not protest, replying with a sigh. ?They glanced down at ?themself, as if only now realizing ?they <<verb 'was'>> still garbed in ?their party outfit - and deigned ?they didn't care, slipping under the covers as soon as Gareth pulled them up. Gareth was happy to have Mordred by his side. He'd have hated for ?them to return to ?their chamber to sleep alone in this state and, perhaps selfishly, he dearly needed ?them now, too. The reveal of ?their conception spiralled through Gareth's head again and again as he laid it down on the pillow. He didn't want to worry Mordred when there was so much burdening ?them, already, but the revelations of tonight had left him confused and hurting, too. [[Next morning|Chapt4GarethAllMorning]]

The next morning, Mordred stayed for breakfast in Gareth's quarters. The atmosphere was subdued as they sat down at the table, rendered so gray and muted by the awful way in which the previous day had ended. "How are you feeling?" Gareth asked, seizing Mordred up over the table. ?They looked as one might expect after last night - not well at all. He, too, felt the revelations, and all the concerns they stirred, press down on his shoulders like the weight of the world. "Did you manage to sleep well enough?" <div class="choice">[["I feel awful," Mordred said. As if a hoard of horses trampled them.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 1]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Not really well, but that's to be expected," Mordred said with a watery smile.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 2]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Honestly, I feel mostly numb," Mordred said. "Numb and tired."|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 3]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Trying to adjust, I suppose," Mordred said carefully. "Last night feels almost like a dream."|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 4]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Like my whole existence is a lie. Like I'm nothing but a tool," Mordred said bitterly, voice catching.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 5]]</div> <div class="choice">[["I'm as alright as I can be," Mordred said warily. They were desperately trying to ward off all these complicated thoughts until they'd shrugged the sleepiness off completely. Besides, they didn't want to burden Gareth more than they'd already done.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk][$chapt4_morning_feel to 6]]</div>

The next morning, Mordred stayed for breakfast in Gareth's quarters. The atmosphere was subdued as they sat down at the table, rendered so gray and muted by the awful way in which the previous day had ended. "How are you feeling?" Gareth asked, seizing Mordred up over the table. ?They looked as one might expect after last night - not well at all. He, too, felt the revelations, and all the concerns they stirred, press down on his shoulders like the weight of the world. "Did you manage to sleep well enough?" <div class="choice">[["I feel awful," Mordred said. As if a hoard of horses trampled them.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 1]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Not really well, but that's to be expected," Mordred said with a watery smile.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 2]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Honestly, I feel mostly numb," Mordred said. "Numb and tired."|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 3]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Trying to adjust, I suppose," Mordred said carefully. "Last night feels almost like a dream."|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 4]]</div> <div class="choice">[["Like my whole existence is a lie. Like I'm nothing but a tool," Mordred said bitterly, voice catching.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 5]]</div> <div class="choice">[["I'm as alright as I can be," Mordred said warily. They were desperately trying to ward off all these complicated thoughts until they'd shrugged the sleepiness off completely. Besides, they didn't want to burden Gareth more than they'd already done.|Chapt4GarethMorningTalk1][$chapt4_morning_feel to 6]]</div>

<<if $chapt4_morning_feel == 1>> Mordred slumped in ?their chair, crumbling in on ?themself. "I feel awful." It was to be expected, and completely understandable, but it didn't hurt any less to see his sibling that way. Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile all that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonder if ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "Hey," he softly called out, reaching out over the table to take Mordred's hand. "You know that if you ever need to talk - or just take your mind off things - you can come to me? I'm here for you." He paused, taking in ?their exhausted expression. The anguish so clearly written on ?their features. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but I want you to please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred." ?They squeezed Gareth's hand and smiled wanly. It wasn't much, but he knew it'd take a long while before things could even start to be better; now all wounds were fresh and bleeding and agonizing. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <<elseif $chapt4_morning_feel == 2>> "Not really well," Mordred said, giving a smile so wan and sad it was a stretch even calling it a smile. "But that's to be expected." It was to be expected, and completely understandable, but it didn't hurt any less to see his sibling that way. Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile all that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonder if ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "Hey," he softly called out, reaching out over the table to take Mordred's hand. "You know that if you ever need to talk - or just take your mind off things - you can come to me? I'm here for you." He paused, taking in ?their exhausted expression. The anguish so clearly written on ?their features. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but I want you to please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred." ?They squeezed Gareth's hand and smiled wanly. It wasn't much, but he knew it'd take a long while before things could even start to be better; now all wounds were fresh and bleeding and agonizing. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <<elseif $chapt4_morning_feel == 3>> Mordred sighed and slumped in ?their chair, crumbling in on ?themself. "Honestly, I feel mostly numb. Numb and tired." It was to be expected, and completely understandable, but it didn't hurt any less to see his sibling that way. Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile all that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonder if ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "Hey," he softly called out, reaching out over the table to take Mordred's hand. "You know that if you ever need to talk - or just take your mind off things - you can come to me? I'm here for you." He paused, taking in ?their exhausted expression. The anguish so clearly written on ?their features. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but I want you to please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred." "I love you, too." ?They squeezed Gareth's hand and smiled wanly. It wasn't much, but he knew it'd take a long while before things could even start to be better; now all wounds were fresh and bleeding and agonizing. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <<elseif $chapt4_morning_feel == 4>> "Trying to adjust, I suppose," Mordred slowly said. "Last night feels almost like a dream." It was definitely a lot to adjust to - a new reality. Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonder if ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "It is...a lot. Hey," he softly called out, reaching out over the table to take Mordred's hand. "You know that if you ever need to talk - or just take your mind off things - you can come to me? I'm here for you." He paused, taking in ?their exhausted expression. The anguish so clearly written on ?their features. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but I want you to please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred."" "I love you, too." ?They squeezed Gareth's hand and smiled wanly. It wasn't much, but he knew it'd take a long while before things could even start to be better; now all wounds were fresh and bleeding and agonizing. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <<elseif $chapt4_morning_feel == 5>> "Like my whole existence is a lie," Mordred said thickly. ?Their voice cut right through Gareth. "Like I'm nothing but a tool." Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile all that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonder if ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "Mordred..." Gareth started, unable to hide the hurt in his tone. He paused, looking for the right words to say - to soothe ?them, to reassure ?them. To get ?them to see ?they <<verb 'was'>> so much more than that. "I'm only here because mother needed to give father a child," he said. "She never told me, but it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. I'm more than that, though. We're both more than that." He smiled gently and reached over the table to grasp Mordred's hand. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred. Just for the person that you are." Mordred stared at him with hazy, blurry eyes, face scrunching up as ?they struggled against tears. ?They nodded ?their head, unable to articulate anything. All Gareth hoped was that his words would stay with ?them. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <<elseif $chapt4_morning_feel == 6>> Mordred smiled, a strained, wan smile. Gareth wondered if ?they put it on only for his sake. "I'm as alright as I can be," Mordred said. He doubted that could be very alright. Once Gareth had been older, he understood why his mother had him - that she was left little choice in the matter - but he could never hold that against her. It took a while for him to be capable to truly comprehend the entirety of the situation she found herself in, but when he did, it pained him. She'd never made him feel less loved for it, though. And he knew that she loved Mordred dearly. It was in the things she did for ?them, big or small; hadn't she fled to Avalon to protect Mordred? Yet the revelation...cast a terrible shadow on everything. <<if $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_angry" or $chapt4_revelation == "betrayed_doubt_upset" or $chapt4_revelation == "ok_doubt">> Gareth understood why Mordred now doubted everything - her love, her trust, her affection. How must one reconcile all that with the knowledge that they were always created with a purpose in mind? Of course Mordred would fear and wonderif ?their only worth relied on being what Morgana wanted ?them to be - no matter how much she'd tried to reassure ?them it wasn't the case. Gareth believed - wanted to believe - that Morgana did love Mordred. But he couldn't help but torture himself too over the unknown boundaries and limits of her affection. She loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he had no idea where that left them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <<else>> Last night, Mordred never wavered in ?their belief that Morgana loved ?them as she'd always done, regardless of goals met, regardless of vengeance taken. ?They said she'd reassured ?them of that, and ?they wholeheartedly believed her, and Gareth wished he had ?their conviction. It wasn't that he didn't believe Morgana loved Mordred - but she loved her ambitions, too, and he wondered how she might reconcile the two if Mordred failed to accomplish them. As for the ambitions themselves, it was a headache for another day to even entertain. <</if>> "Hey," he softly called out, reaching out over the table to take Mordred's hand. "You know that if you ever need to talk - or just take your mind off things - you can come to me? I'm here for you." He paused, taking in ?their exhausted expression. The anguish so clearly written on ?their features. "I know it won't magically fix everything, but I want you to please remember: you've got me, and $dragon_name, and we both love you for //you//, Mordred." "I love you, too." ?They squeezed Gareth's hand and smiled wanly. It wasn't much, but he knew it'd take a long while before things could even start to be better; now all wounds were fresh and bleeding and agonizing. Mordred picked up a slice of bread, looking at it as if it were coated in mildew. Still ?they munched on it, with not much more enthusiasm. Gareth's own stomach, while coiled with tension since last night, churned in protest for food, a painful call he dutifully obliged. He slathered his bread with generous amounts of butter, and gathered tomatoes and slivers of bell paper into his plate. "How are //you// faring?" Mordred asked. <</if>> "Me?" Gareth asked, puzzled. It was sweet that Mordred was concerned for him, but it wasn't he who had their entire life turned upside down in one night. There was no need to add onto those troubles any worry for Gareth. He took a long sip of his sweetened tea, searching for words. "I'm concerned about you, before anything." Mordred was relentless. "That aside?" He nursed his cup pensively, glancing down into its berry-red depths. "I already knew mother has done unsavory things," he said. There was the whole affair with the poisoning, years ago. It'd never been proven, there being a lack of evidence besides Morgana's obvious loathing of the Duke, which was solid ground to accuse her but too feeble to possibly convict her. There had also been the incident with Lancelot's sudden, violent indigestion at the tournament two years ago; no one truly believed it to be anything else than intentionally spoilt food, but there was no proof to officially blame her that time, either. Mother had a predilection towards taking matters into her own hands when dealing with horrible deeds done to those she loved. But what about Arthur? Arthur was no Uther. There was no knowing that when she'd met him, but nothing to promise he'd be a horrible King, either. He was but a teen thrust on the throne, lost and confused - they might have found solace in each other. Instead she'd taken advantage of him, all for a vengeance scheme which had clueless Mordred at its center. Gareth went on: "Now I better understand the wedge between her and Arthur. Or rather, I see it in a different light." He sighed, placed down his tea cup and reached for another slice of bread. "But how does it make //you// feel?" Mordred asked, persistent to get more out of him. "Shocked. Confused. Like I don't know anything. While other things seem so much clearer - like pieces of a puzzle falling into place, I suppose." Mordred placed down ?their slice of bread, half eaten. "Don't you have questions? About me being a Pendragon." "Of course I do," Gareth smiled. There were so many awful revelations, and this one stood out as the only good one. He had //so// many questions, but it felt wrong to ask ?them then. "But I won't pester you now with them." "Pester away," Mordred insisted, shrugging. "Help me get my mind off things." "Alright. But you must promise me that you'll finish that bread." He pointed his butter knife towards ?their plate, then the bread basket. "And a second one." Mordred balked, but he was undaunted: "An empty stomach won't help." Mordred obliged him and took the bread, adding some slices of cheese onto it. Gareth decided to provide ?them with a few cherry tomatoes too, watching carefully that ?they <<verb 'was'>> actually eating the food and not trying to skirt around it by keeping him entertained with tales of ?their scales and powers. It was indeed entertaining. Gareth had read up on dragon bloods, and he'd seen Arthur's powers, briefly. But to learn that Mordred ?themself <<verb 'was'>> one was mind-blowing. There were so many things he didn't know! Mordred weren't just a proficient student at learning the dragon language - ?they simply knew it, just like that, as if ?they <<verb 'was'>> a dragon ?themself. Fire came easy to ?them as part of both ?their Le Fay //and// Pendragon heritage, and ?their bond with ?their dragon friend ran so much deeper. The discussion animated Mordred, but only sporadically. ?They'd get excited over a certain detail or tale ?they recounted, eyes brilliant - then ?they'd fall silent, gaze dull as ?they picked at ?their food, willing ?themself to eat as Gareth had instructed ?them to do. Once Mordred left for ?their own chamber to finally change out of ?their party garments, Gareth remained alone in his quarters in contemplative, heavy silence. He stayed with his thoughts for a while, and came to the resolution that he needed to confront his mother; but he couldn't summon the energy right then, so he curled up on his armchair with a book instead. [[The End]]

As of chapter 4 after certain revelations, does Mordred believe Morgana loves them? Do they feel betrayed about the deceit and secrets? <div class="choice">[[They feel anguished and betrayed by the secrecy and doubt Morgana really loves them, at least not without conditions. |NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "betrayed_doubt_upset"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They feel angry and betrayed by the secrecy and doubt Morgana really loves them, at least not without conditions.|NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "betrayed_doubt_angry"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They feel anguished and betrayed by the secrecy but do believe Morgana loves them.|NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "betrayed_upset"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They feel angry and betrayed by the secrecy but do believe Morgana loves them.|NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "betrayed_angry"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They can understand the secrecy but doubt Morgana really loves them, at least not without conditions.|NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "ok_doubt"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[They can understand the secrecy and do believe Morgana loves them.|NextQuestion4][$chapt4_revelation to "ok"]]</div>

Are Mordred and Arthur close? Was he invited to their birthday? <div class="choice">[[Yes.|NextQuestion2][$arthur_invited to true]]</div> <div class="choice">[[No.|NextQuestion2][$arthur_invited to false]]</div>

Your dragon friend's name is... <div class="choice">[[Malinda|Story][$dragon_name to "Malinda"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Drake|Story][$dragon_name to "Drake"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Bella|Story][$dragon_name to "Bella"]]</div> <div class="choice">[[Finneas|Story][$dragon_name to "Finneas"]]</div> <<textbox "$dragon_name" "" "Story">>